For over 34 years it has been my passion to create amazing places for people exploring life change, serving as a pastor and spiritual influencer. As a sacred professional, I loved researching and implementing personal development programs and purpose driven approaches to life, all packaged with a deep desire to bring into existence a very much needed modern approach to mend spiritual frustration and broken souls.
And then it all changed. In the midst of a tremendous season of loss, I descended into an Absence of God experience, questioning every thing I knew to be true and upending my belief systems. Church was the soil that held my roots to God, the very place I was now severed from and disallusioned with. Experiencing God had always been easy for me and now I felt alone and consumed with fear. For the first time in life I did not have a felt sensed connection to God.
I embarked on a spiritual pilgrimage, wrestling out where God fit into chaos, reconstructing what was true for me. It was clear the sacred ideologies from my past were completely inadequate in my present circumstances. I craved to show up and live in a way that reflected the God that unfolded in my world of chaos.
I can choose to keep this pilgrimage to myself, a closely held secret or I can reveal it - crack myself open to the world. Some will be capable of understanding this direct experience with God that is available. Some will not. To those I am not directing my thoughts. If I focus on these people my God will remain hidden. There is no denying that sharing - investigating this God - that I have moved into a place of understanding the deep meaning of working out your own salvation - a precious gift of freedom God has offered us. We are born into this world - the "visible" with the dimmest of light, never enough to fully cast away the darkness. Only enough light to live in shadows - but oh, that we would seek out more light - rather than grope in such darkness.
If you find this stokes a conversation - let's talk. Email me - firstname.lastname@example.org. It would make my day to hear from you.
Photo by Shannon Rowies